By Alex 
My 81-year-old dad just schooled me in emotional intelligence with a WhatsApp message.
“Ah Yun, can you help me text my ex-student?’
I walked to his room, to spare him the effort of hobbling to the living room on his walker.
I knew exactly who he was referring to.
Decades after retirement, Ellen, his former student who now lives in the UK, got in touch with my father after his ex students set up a whatsapp group.
She recently came back to Ipoh and visited my father.
She also gave my dad a generous angpow, which my mum had complained about. ‘I’d have returned the money if I’d known how much was in there!’
I walked up to my dad and began, “Tell me what you want to say and I’ll send the message from my phone.”
To my surprise, he shook his head vigorously. “No, no. The message has to be sent from my phone.”
Oof.
He was right. A forwarded message would’ve stripped the warmth.
“Ok Dad. You go look up her name and call me when you’re done.”
I could do it for him, and much faster, but I knew the small action would give him a sense of purpose. I went to the kitchen to make coffee then ambled back to the living room.
“Have you found her contact?”
“Yes.” He passed the phone over to me with a shaky hand.
I sat down and got comfy. “Ok, what do you want to say?”
“Thank her for the ang pow. Say my legs are weak, but I’m healthy. Hope to see her again. And…” he paused to think a bit. “Make sure you say thank you a few times, not just once.”
My heart melted.
My father’s small action demonstrated the value of authenticity more powerfully than any Linkedin guru.
No wonder his students love him.
Thank you dad, and thank you Ellen.
What’s the wisest ‘small’ lesson someone older has taught you?
ET